A Critique of the Sex Work Industry

I want to first say that I absolutely support sex workers. I have several friends that are sex workers. This is nothing against them. Many of them have chosen that line of work because it's what they love doing. So this is nothing against sex workers. Heck, I think a lot of them will be in agreement with me on this.

Also, before people get into blaming sex workers for perpetuating sex trafficking, in countries where full service sex work is legal, victims of trafficking are more comfortable coming forward. Why? Because they have the safety of not being punished for doing sex work. Trafficking people is illegal, but fully consensual sex work is legal. I also want to point out that when I searched "Sex Work vs. Sex Trafficking," the first things to pop up were articles pointing out the difference on anti-trafficking sites.

Next, people might make all sorts of judgments about customers of sex workers, but humans were built with strong sexual needs. It's part of how we are biologically. When people are having difficulty finding a lover and going through various problems in their life, being able to hire a service that provides a needed intimacy can be extremely valuable. There are married couples that go to night clubs and onto dating sites to find a third person to bring into their bedroom, as a way to spice things up. There was someone who pointed out that it's more ethical for these sort of couples to hire a fully consenting sex worker than to try picking people up at the bars or on dating sites.

Having said all of that, here is my critique of the sex work industry.

Like many industries in our society, it is almost strictly catered to heterosexual men. When looking at websites for brothels in Nevada, they have the workers listed. All of the workers I found on all of the sites are women. Although gay and bisexual women might have the chance to enjoy the services too, there still seems to be an assumption that most of the customers are going to be cisgender men.

Strip clubs are referred to as "gentlemen's clubs," implying that these clubs are for men to attend. Yes, there are women and gender non-conforming people who go there as well, but when they're referred to as "gentlemen's clubs," you know who the assumed customers are.

There's a genre of porn called POV. POV stands for point of view. The film is from the visual perspective of the man in the video, made so that a man watching the video can imagine himself being in it. There's a minor subgenre called FPOV, which stands for female point of view. When I went onto PornHub, searching for FPOV videos, nearly all of them still focused more on showing off the woman's body. A woman viewing it would have a bit of difficulty seeing herself as the woman in the video. However, men viewing the many (and I mean many) POV videos (which maybe should actually be called MPOV?) that exist can easily see themselves in it. Heck, some of the titles have the word, "you," in there.

There is one minor exception I've seen to the sex work industry being primarily catered to heterosexual men. There are bits that are catered to gay men. There was a pornographic search engine that had videos categorized as "straight," "gay," and "trans." Straight meant that there were women in the videos. Gay meant that it was only men. Trans meant that it included transgender woman. So if a woman is in it, it's for straight people. If it's only men, it's for gay people. Why aren't videos of only women also referred to as gay? Shouldn't that be classified as gay? The assumption here is that all the viewers are male, and that woman-on-woman action is for the viewing pleasure of males. In addition to that, when I first went onto a search engine, and looked up "male strip clubs," the first thing I found was a guide to finding gay strip clubs.

So when it's not heterosexual men being catered to, it's still almost exclusively men that are being catered to. There are heterosexual women who have sexual needs too, and many of them may possibly be having difficulty getting their sexual needs fulfilled. It's true that most women have sex forced on them in some way or another. However, a lot of women have commented that safe and consensual sexual activity has been something that has helped them overcome their abuse. A service where their safety is guaranteed could be of great value for them.

I had a discussion with a couple of courtesans who work at a brothel in Nevada, along a friend of theirs. We discussed the idea of men doing full service sex work, possibly for women clients. The laws in Nevada primarily seem to keep men from being able to do it legally. I commented that there are potential dangers of having full service male sex workers in our current social climate. I pointed out that an erotic website that had women post naked selfies tried doing one of men. Disaster occurred when that happened. Even worse disaster could potentially occur from full service sex work provided by men. That friend of theirs commented, however, that such a service would probably be safer than the alternatives. She also commented that it isn't just heterosexual women who could benefit from having that sort of service. She mentioned that she's extremely queer, and that she'd be glad for such a service. Dating is difficult for her, but she still has sexual needs. She commented that there might also be lesbians who'd benefit from it too.

I will say that there are some changes happening, but at a very slow pace.

In regards to FPOV porn videos, which I mentioned above, I eventually found one FPOV video where a woman viewing it could easily see herself as the woman in the video. It was done by an amateur couple. When looking at the comments section, several women expressed major gratitude. They were excited to see one focusing on the man, but not only that, on the pleasure he was feeling. A few years later, I looked for another that might have been made since, but I found nothing. Why is there so little?

There are also a few things I've been doing. One of the reasons I became a male burlesque performer was in response to how women are sexualized almost exclusively for male pleasure. I also put together an OnlyFans page. On that page, I've made self pleasure encouragement films where I assume the viewer to be a woman. I've addressed the viewer as "my queen," "mommy," "my little princess," and other female specific terms. I once sent a mass message to my subscribers, opening with the sentence "Hello to all of you queens, empresses, and goddesses that have subscribed to my page."

Small steps have been made, but there's a lot of work that needs to be done. I'm also going to acknowledge that, like all societal changes, this can't happen overnight. It will take a lot of time. Many of it is also intertwined with other societal beliefs about gender and sexuality. However, there need to be more places where women can get a satisfying service from men, the way that men are able to get from women. Sex shouldn't just be something that is done by women for men. Women have sexual desires and needs too.

Commentary on the Porn Industry

Our society heavily objectifies women, and it is a huge problem. There isn't one thing in it to blame for that problem. It's become so deeply ingrained, going back to far before any of us were born. One place that people point to is pornography. Now, I see nothing wrong with consenting adults partaking in sexual activity with a camera in front of them, and I don't see anything wrong with them giving consent to let those videos be shown to the public. However, there is something I do have major issues with. It's the pornographic industry itself.

There are definitely problems outside of the professional porn industry of films being shown without consent, people being taken advantage of, coerced, etc. Those films should definitely not be shown or viewed. They are a problematic part of our society. However, concerning stuff from the industry, I have read interviews from women in the porn industry, and they have said that they are treated respectfully and have given consent. Some of them have commented that it's common to put together lists of things that they're comfortable with and things that they're not comfortable with. One woman even mentioned in an interview that she requires the men she'll be doing films with to give them the contact information for three women he's done films with before, as references. The stuff that goes on behind the scenes isn't the big issue I have. It's what we regularly see in the scenes that I have a big problem with.

The common scenario that I see, which is recurrent throughout a few of the examples I'll be giving, is that the woman in the film is resistant at first. It's implied that she gets into it and has a great time, but these films typically start with her resisting. Even after some of her clothes are removed, she's resistant. Sometimes, even after penetration, she's still not fully on board. There are several other films where she's coerced or blackmailed into having sex. There are other films where it's a woman doing that same stuff to a man or a boy, but that doesn't make it any better. Sexual misconduct is sexual misconduct regardless of who is perpetrating the act on who. Also, it might not be a scenario of someone screaming "no," but "no" still means "no" regardless of tone of voice. Also, anything other than "yes" is a form of "no."

One common scenario is where a man walks in on a woman sleeping. He starts touching her or penetrating her while she's asleep. Some people have pointed out that the problem isn't consent as much as it is context. There are couples that have possibly discussed the idea of one of them starting to penetrate their partner while they're sleeping. However, that context is not shown in these films. There have also been films where she wakes up, she's not into it, but he keeps going and ignores her when she says "no."

Another scenario that I have frequently seen has been a dad seducing his teenage daughter. Incest? That is definitely gross. However, there are two even bigger problems here. The big one is that although both actors are over the age of 18, it's implied that the teenage daughter is not, and that she's sleeping with someone more than twice her age. If she were over the age of 21 or so, the age difference wouldn't be a problem, but the implication is that she's still a legal minor. In addition to that is the already addressed problem. Some of these films have her being resistant at first.

Then there is the scenario of a teacher or coach seducing a student or athlete. There was a similar scenario I encountered where a police officer is about to arrest a young woman, but he offers to let her go if she sleeps with him. This film shows her saying "yes" out of fear and desperation. Sometimes, the implication is that they are college age, therefore a legal adult. However, this is still a depiction of an unfair power dynamic, and a misuse of power where the other person says "yes" out of fear of hurt from saying "no."

Even in consensual situations cheating and incest are quite common. Sometimes, it's just someone sleeping with a stepparent or a stepchild. However, that does still leave a bad taste in peoples' mouths. Why can't the story be a next door neighbor or a friend?

Another common scenario that isn't quite as bad, but is still on the frustrating end, is when someone shouts at a woman or asks a random woman on the street for sex. Maybe there is a bit of conversing. However, it's still something on the unrealistic end.

I get it. Pornography is fantasy. It's not meant to depict reality. However, our society's sex education is next to non-existent, and what we see on screen does teach and inspire our behavior in reality. People have commented on the importance of making sure that pornography is ethically sourced. However, that's only a part of it. It should also take social responsibility in how it depicts sexuality.

The people who make these films have a right to depict the scenarios they want. They have a right to free artistic expression. However, when we're trying to combat sexual abuse, continuous depiction of these sort of problematic scenarios potentially leads to more problems. Sexual ethics is not only important in what is done behind the scenes. It also is important with the scenes. However, here's separate alternative from no longer making such films.

One film that did depict one of the problematic scenarios mentioned above, that I was glad about, included a disclaimer at the beginning from the performers in the film. The two of them said at the beginning that this was a fictional situation. If these "storylines" are to continue, why not have that sort of disclaimer?

Another positive example I saw came from a hardcore BDSM film. The woman had the man tied up, and she whipped him and made some pretty belittling comments towards him. In BDSM, there are these types of roleplay. Something that is heavily agreed on in the BDSM community is that aftercare is important. This film did a bit of that, showing the woman and the man sitting next to each other afterwards, and the man talks about how good a time he had.

Many of the above mentioned films include a written disclaimer at the beginning, but whose going to read that? Having the people in the film say "this is roleplay" at the beginning should be the normal way. Aftercare might not be as necessary, but that might be a good thing to normalize too, especially with intense roleplay scenarios.